The Big C
So in July 2026, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer (Adenocarcinoma). On June 1st, the mass was spotted during a visit to Urgent Care where the doctor told me to find an ER and get checked out. We knew we had to go to a more reputable hospital, so we drove to FL to the Baptist Medical Center in Fernandina Beach, FL first then later I was transported to the downtown Jacksonville location where I would stay for about a week. Overall this past summer, I had 3 Bronchoscopy's where the first one came back as no cancer whereas the last 2 did. I have to thank my new pulmonologist honestly for wanting to do the 2nd Bronchoscopy to be sure of the 1st results, since they were negative for cancer.
This past summer definitely ranks as the worst on record for me, as it was not only filled with a harsh diagnosis, but also filled with chemo, radiation, scans, medications, 3 trips to the hospital, pneumonia, and an increase in mental breakdowns.
How do you process such news? It all happened so fast. I honestly thought I was just having a bad dream and my normal regular life was still there somewhere.
At the end of September I was experiencing some pains in my jaw and shoulder, so our radiation oncologist requested another PET scan. The results were not good, showing the cancer had spread into soft tissue areas which were the areas where I was feeling the pain. The jaw pain was like having a cavity and it was hitting the nerves. So they put me on pain medications and a nerve medication that would, over time, alleviate the nerve pain. That kind of pain is enough to make you lose your mind, and not to mention lose sleep. I am up every 2 hours with pain. So I find myself sleeping when I can and that turns into me hardly leaving my bedroom.
I am trying. Daily I try to move when I can. Sleep when I can. Eat when I can. I have lost about 25 lbs total since this all started. I am weighing daily so I can be conscious of eating to maintain my weight. This is not the time to diet.
At this point I do not know my prognosis, nor do I know what stage I am since the cancer had spread. I was put on a new chemo medication that is in pill form called Lumakras. This pill is specifically for my cancer mutation/gene called KRAS. It is supposed to tell it to stop growing. No hair loss, just fatigue so far. I actually feel better since the summer. I do not have shortness of breath anymore, I do have a wheeze at times, but overall, I feel much better.
Talk about a wake up call. When you do not have your health, life looks different. I hate that it takes such devastating news to wake you up, but it does. I think the one thing we have to remind ourselves is we are all going to die. This life is temporary, and I knew this before the diagnosis, and tried to live my life in that headspace. I understand that we are souls having a human experience. I am still scared of death, but at the same time, you have to find a way to understand it and come to terms with it because its going to happen to everyone.
I pray, but in my own way, as most know that I am not religious as much as I am spiritual. Praying to me is putting the words out into the universe. We can manifest together. So I appreciate everyone who has held space for me, prayed for me, sent healing vibes, thought of me in any way. I have received cards, texts, messages and they all mean so much to me. I am grateful.
The only downfall to all of this is I have not been motivated. I lost some motivation on this business a few years ago when we moved from Iowa honestly. Life got busy, and I just lost my mojo. I am slowly making stuff again, and trying to regain that love for the craft. I have been very tired, sad, and just not in the headspace to make much. My hope while taking time off work was to find time to focus on art and healing. I am going to try everyday to do something, even if its small.
I will continue to blog and I hope that I can continue to spread positive news on my healing! Please pray for me. Thank you!
Jen
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