It has been a small dream of mine to do something for me, and something that makes me happy. During the pandemic, my anxiety and panic increased due to fear of the unknown so I dove in deeper learning about crystals and using them in my daily life. I have always been on the search for the why in life, since I was a young child. I questioned everything and still do. What I have learned and found is there is something about energy that is the most real to me and I believe the why is found there.
What is the why? Why are we here? Why us? Why now? There are so many why's!
Who am I? Well...I am a woman born into this world on October 27th. I was born to a very young mother and father who would eventually split up when I was still just a baby. My brave mother left her abuser and fled to a new place to start a new life with me. I was a very independent child and learned to get myself up in the morning and ready for school when most kids had their parents still brushing their hair and picking out their clothes. I had an amazing neighbor who became another family for me, where I bonded with their daughter who was just a few weeks older than me. I had longed for her to be my twin sister and pretended her parents were mine. They gave me a real sense of what family was and my mom was grateful for them for loving me.
I am a navy brat; my mom married my step-dad when I was 7 years old and our military family life began with moving to New Orleans, then Charleston SC, up to northern Michigan and from there I went my own way as they finished up in Texas and eventually moved back to where those amazing neighbors lived that helped raise me. I guess that town always stayed with them and they wanted to return there to live again.
I was 17 when I decided to stay in Michigan and make it work on my own without my parents. Eventually some childhood friends I had in SC came to visit and talked me into coming back south where I would eventually move back home with my parents. I had quit school in Michigan, so at 18 years old I went back and got my GED and then signed up for college.
I am definitely skipping some chapters in this story, but this is not going to be some kind of autobiography. I just wanted to set the backdrop for who I am, and how I became who I am today. If there is one thing I don't like to do is bore people!
Fast Forward through time - I experimented with drugs - I moved around ALOT - I even tried going back to Michigan to be with the guy I left when I was 17 but of course that didnt work. I even tried dating my first love again (I fell in love when I was 13 ya'll, no joke)...and that was a no go (it's amazing how much you change and don't realize it). I met a small group of chicks that became my Girls Club and we did everything together. I got to see Woodstock 99, and attend a good amount of concerts in the early 2000's. I became a bar DJ in 2004 and did that for about 4 years. I was pretty much high or drunk that entire time which led me into my dark drinking days. I met my now husband in 2000 and we have been together even since. I literally met him one night and we have been together ever since.
I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and panic disorder in 2010 and began my journey of coping and taking medications. I was still a drunk then, so I was a hot mess for another 5 years. I finally threw in the towel on drinking because I started to really suck at being fun and drunk. I sobered up periodically in 2014, and then stopped 100% in 2015. Its the best life choice I could have made. Sure, I miss the escape, but I always remember that hangover and how my poor body felt.
I am sure I have been depressed most of my life, but I finally got the help I needed. When I was 16 I tried to overdose on pills but luckily whatever I took didnt do the job. So I have been through my own hell and I get it...
Finding myself after getting sober took a long time. I was so confused for so many years. I read some books and saw a therapist for over 10 years. I've surrounded myself with only people who are safe. I have always wanted to do something for ME that helps others and that is what brought me to crystals and their healing power.
Ok here is me being vulnerable and honest. I challenge you to do the same thing. Put everything out there. The past is the past, there is nothing we can do to change it. We must stay in the present moment and live. That is the only moment we have control over.
Thank you for reading my short story and for being apart of this journey. I am so grateful for you...
With Love & A Grateful Heart,